Today is Eat an Oreo Day. Sounds nice! Eat an Oreo Day seems like such a simple, clean, honest thing to do. But trust me, there's a very good reason why you should NOT eat an Oreo today (and for a pleasant change, it's not about me at all). 

Your teeth.

No, not the health of your teeth. Who cares about that, amIright? (Kidding, kidding, kidding.) But seriously. Teeth health, schmeeth health. (KIDDING! Really...just kidding...but really). 

The thing I'm worried about today is the LOOK of your teeth. You can't eat an Oreo without the cookie leaving behind WAY too much evidence of your last snack. Sure, you could get up and brush your teeth right after, but you'd better swish with a LOT of water first, or you'll end up brushing twice. Just to eat a cookie in public. Is it worth it? I say it is not.

Need another reason? Well, sure. I can think of a million reasons. But, ummm....just off the top of my head.. Doot doot doo...just spitballing here, there's...ummm, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE I'LL BE FACE-TO-FACE WITH YOU TODAY AND IF I CAN'T STAND THE LOOK OF MY TEETH WITH OREOS IN THEM HOW BIG DO YOU THINK THE FREAK OUT WILL BE WHEN I SEE OREOS IN YOUR TEETH?

((shudder)).

Sorry, I shouldn't have shouted.

Please, go ahead. Eat that Oreo today...but not in public. For the love of God, Not. In. Public.

Think of the children!

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