Man Refuses to Honor Sister’s Dying Wish for Daughter’s Name
A man on Reddit is struggling to honor his sister's dying wish, which was for him to name his daughter after their mother.
The man's sister, Marie, died two years ago following "a myriad of health problems." Their mother took her death especially hard as they "were very close." However, according to him, their mom was "an awful person" to everyone except his sister.
"She was abusive to me and my other sister Anna in ways better left unsaid, but suffice to say we will have no problem throwing her in the worst, cheapest nursing home we can find once her mental state declines a bit further. Before she passed away, Marie made it known that she would like the next girl born in our family to be named after our mother. Whether or not my mother put her up to it is something we’ll never know," he wrote via Reddit.
He didn't have the heart to "tell her no" at the time, so he agreed to his dying sister's wish.
"Now my wife is pregnant with our daughter, and I can’t do it. I can’t honor the woman who put me through so much hell. I spoke with Anna about it, and she told me that I’d made a promise to Marie. She said that to go back on that word would be spitting in the face of Marie’s memory, and to think of it as honoring Marie and not my mother," he continued.
While he understands his sister's point of view, he is "extremely unsure" he can name his daughter after his abusive mother.
"My wife is totally on board with whatever I want to do because we’re using her all-time favorite name as the first name, so we’d be using my mother’s name as a middle name if at all," he concluded, asking Reddit for advice.
Many users in the comments section advised the man not to name his daughter after his mom.
"Don't do it. Your daughter deserves a fresh start in life and a father that doesn't cringe every time you say her name. You could instead name her after your sister," one person wrote.
"I would not even use it as a middle name. I disagree with Anna's reasoning. If you gave your daughter the name Marie, that would be honoring Marie. Giving your daughter your mother's name is not honoring Marie, it is honoring your mother. It brings back terrible memories for you, and you do not want to have those memories flooding back every time you look at your daughter. If Anna has a daughter, she is free to name her after your mother if she wants," another chimed in.
"Your kid is a human being. Don't burden her with a name that is so negatively connotated [sic] for you. Also: wouldn't your sister be kind to you in this matter, had she lived?" someone else commented.