5 Wines That Pair Best With Your Child's Bad Behavior

I love when experts put lists out of what wine pairs best with the kiddo's Halloween candy, but what about on any given regular day when that said child is throwing a fit, refusing to go to sleep, or not listening? Then what? What wine are we supposed to pair with each particular behavior? Good news! The experts have answered our wishes, and here is your official list of which wine pairs best with your child's behavior.

Over the weekend, I won sister/aunt of the year! I took my sister's kids, who are both under the age of two. I wasn't sure what to expect. Little Sylvia isn't even a month old, and barely takes a bottle, while Sylus loves attention and wants to snuggle, regardless of how full your hands are.

I stumbled upon this hilarious, blunt, mom blogger. She calls herself the rambling redhead. Here's a few of the wines she suggested drinking when your children are exhibiting bad behaviors. Check it out!

Experiencing child terrorism?
MERLOT!
This is exactly what I was experiencing over the weekend. Two children, both very badly wanting attention, and throwing fits at the same time. Where's that third arm when you need it? It's a high stress situation, and you'll need something that goes down easily! The experts suggest Merlot!
"This wine is referred to as an “introducing” wine to novice wine drinkers since it is smooth and light. We are very aware that you are not new to drinking wine, but tonight is not the night to jack around with a dry wine that forces you to drink slowly."
Poo in the carpet!
ROSE
Hey, I think this works for us mamas of fur-babies too!
Sylus loves to roll when your try changing his diaper. Cool, I love cleaning poop off the floor... NOT! Fortunately, like I stated above, I'm used to it, thanks to the dogs!
If you have this problem, the experts say rose!
"Rose has been described as delicate and refreshing, unlike potty-training which has been described as absolute tortuous hell on earth."
Sleep deprivation
More MERLOT!!
I completely understand why moms recommend investing in a workout ball. I was up rocking Sylvia for hours!! My back still hurts.
Are you sleep deprived with a sore back? Time to break out the Merlot again!
"The low acidity and tannin levels in this wine will help it go down smoothly, unlike your tiny human, who won’t go down for anything."
Excessive use of the word “No”
PINOT GRIGIO
I don't need to babysit to get this one! My stepson loves this word... "You want tacos for dinner?" "No!" "Want to go for a bike ride?" "No!" "Want to read this book?" "No" Ok, Megan Trainor, I get it!
Pinot Grigio will definitely help drown out this obnoxious word! Pinot Grigio? No? Yes!
When you feel like the walls are caving in on you.
SAUVIGNON BLANC
This rain has been a real pain in the rear, kind of like that child who is "bored!" because they have to stay inside. Toys everywhere, whining galore, yeah, it's time for some Sauvignon Blanc!
"This wine has been said to have an earthy taste. Drinking something that smells of fresh sod will surely help you forget the painful memories of toy trucks being hurled at your face."

Source: 5 Wines That Pair Best With Your Child’s Bad Behavior

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